I woke up feeling really exhausted. As my morning routine, I tuned in the radio for some music. I flipped though several radio stations and one particular station caught my attention. The conversation was an interesting one. Actually they were talking about something I’ve always wanted to write about at some point in the year.
A lady called in and wanted to get people’s view of what she had experienced a day before. She narrated, “I was in a cab with a co-worker and her boyfriend. When we arrived at our destination, she pulled out some money from her bag and handed over to the boyfriend who then paid it to the cab guy. I was like, does she owe him money? Had they had a conversation before? Does she carry his money? Why didn’t she just hand the money to the driver? When we stepped out, I pulled my co-worker on the side and asked her why she handed him (the boyfriend) the money instead of just giving it to the driver directly? She said that she will be bruising his ego and that she wanted him to feel like a man.”
This is exactly what I have been thinking about. Some few months ago, I was at a restaurant with a male friend (I had offered him coffee) for coffee, the waiter came with the bill and handled it over to him. I stared at him (waiter) but apparently he didn’t notice my ugly stare. My hand was still in the air waiting for him to hand me the bill, as he walked away (I felt maybe I should bring it to his attention) I thought it was not his fault. In our society today, the man is always expected to settle the bill. Any way I let that go.
I think our society is messed up. We have been raised in a society that dictates that a man should prove himself by paying bill or that a man should always pay bills and if he doesn’t he is not a gentleman. He should settle bills at home, in the supermarket, at the restaurant, at the petrol station, in the bus and in the salon if he has accompanied her.
We have made it a norm. The society has raised the girl child to think that they are not supposed to pay to anything if they are in the company of a man. What if the man doesn’t have money? I talked to a friend about this and he said that he will never let a lady pay for anything in his presence.
Let’s stop with the pretense, sophisticated ego and traditions. Yes traditions dictate that the man should be the lead in everything. But traditions and culture does not make people, people make traditions. Men do not have a money gene.
Masculinity should not be linked with money. As it is now, the economic situation is tough. We cannot afford to have one person catering for everything in and outside the house. Yes a man should be the provider, the bible dictates so. But that does not mean that if the man doesn’t have money and the woman has that she cannot settle the bill. This however, does not mean that a man should leave everything to his woman in the name of; ‘YOU EARN MORE THAT I DO’ or that I don’t have money songs. A man who does not provide for his family loses their respect and doesn’t earn her submission. Have a look at WHY WOMEN DO NOT SUBMIT
If he feels that he has to behave like the guy on the second paragraph, sorry girl his ego is fragile. Girl if you settle bills you do not emasculate him. You are his helper. You are just helping. That’s your family too, it’s your house, they are your children too, it’s your stomach.
I repeat, ladies if you need to hand money to him to pay the bill in public just to save his face, his ego is fragile.
Let’s be civilized! She can also pay bills.