It doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about life goals or lovers, if you aren’t willing to fight for them, if you aren’t willing to get your hands dirty, to go out of your way and make an effort to hold on to them, then you just don’t want them enough.
The marriage that God wished for us divorce was not an option. However, He highlighted that a man can only divorce his wife if she is guilty of sexual immorality. God hates divorce and we need not weave some doctrinal theological synthesis around this. Man was to become one with his wife for them to fulfill his will.
Each one has a role to play. However, with the brain wash trend and technology, we each have forgotten what we are met to do. Too much attention and too much fighting has changed the whole perspective of a godly ordained institution. We are meant to feel like the relationship is too much work, but you should know that a relationship that requires no energy is a dead one.
You will often hear of marriages that have lasted 30, 20, 10 years and so on. This doesn’t mean that they are a perfect couple with nothing to fight about, it just means that they are determined to save each other in fire and make their marriage work.
Changing ones perspective involves changing the way you view your partner. Is he/she a gift or a trophy? Gifts are treasures. A trophy is only for a season. Whenever you feel you deserve the other person, you will treat them as a trophy. But when you know you don’t deserve them you will treat them as a gift.
I’ve never been married but I know there instances when things become really thick. But remember your vows, for better for worse. It means that times will not be the same. You have to be prepared when fire comes in. what is your standing; to let your house where you have invested your emotion, strength, time, money and every other thing you’ve yield for years come down to ashes or are you gonna save it?
There are times when you feel that your sacrifices are not noticed or appreciated. And often that your spouse doesn’t deserve your love. Remember we don’t love people because they deserve our love. Christ loved us even when we didn’t deserve it and even when we didn’t recognize that He sacrificed His life for us.
Forgiveness is key. Are you feeling hurt broken, need time out? This feeling will often come but this doesn’t mean that the feeling will last forever. Forgiveness is an attitude you wear everyday not an event for special occasions. You need to forgive more than the other person needs to be forgiven. Love is communicated in a number of ways and forgiveness is one of them. You don’t need a reward for showing your spouse that you love and appreciate them.
All couples have their moments of disagreements, it’s how you handle them shows whether your relationship has ripened or not. Nothing decides the health of a relationship more than how a couple argues. In a mature relationship, the couple has learned each other’s patterns of anger and adjusted well to it, you have agreed upon a way of resolving conflict. The love doesn’t fade away even on the bad days, you don’t hurt each other just because you were angry, in fact you work towards solving the issue as a team. You can even call out on each other and it won’t result into a fight, because you know your partner means well for you and you help each other to growand improve.
Resolve things with honor. Marriage is meant for mature people and not for kids. However, age is not a determination for maturity. We are human and often wrong each other but how do you resolve conflict with someone you professed to love? With pride? When the other has wronged you doesn’t mean that the day today duties will be at a standstill. For instant the fact that you are mad at him doesn’t mean that you can’t prepare his cloths or dinner. And a word on caution sex is not one of the conflicts solving mechanism.
At the courtship stage couples should agree on a conflict solving mechanism. This shouldn’t be writing but engraved in the heart that it becomes part of you. Marriage is not broken after a one day mistaken. It’s a piled up mistake and brokenness due to unresolved conflicts.
But you should keep fighting. Every man and woman deserves someone who loves them so much that he or she would be willing to fight for them tooth and nail. If you really think about it, having someone willing to fight for you, to protect you, to even fight your battles if need be, is exactly the reason human beings partnered up to begin with. You don’t have to fight with fists but fight with the decisions they make, the way they plan their lives, the way they forgive and do all they can to keep the relationship together.
Fight for her/him, fight for your marriage. Get down on your knees. Keep Him at the center of it all. Just hold on although sometimes your hope might be gone, don’t listen to Satan’s lies. At the end of it all am sure it will be worth it.
Divorce is not an option! It’s gonna work out, just keep trying. God hates divorce and will not let you down.
ALL THE BEST! GOD BLESS YOU.