images_33We compromise on things every single day.

Your job isn’t perfect. You put up with it for 8-10

hours a day.

You don’t agree with your boss but you do as he directs.

Your friends and family aren’t perfect. You put up

with them for the rest of the time.

We make choices and yet we know the consequences will weigh us down.


But wait.

You’d make adjustments if you didn’t feel good

about your body. You know hitting the gym and eating healthy.

You’d make adjustments if your financial statement are

not balancing (income and expenditure).

You’d make adjustments if you alienated your co-

workers and wanted to feel better from 9-5 every


We’re constantly making adjustments in life: socially, financially etc.


But we tend to forget something!

The time we spend knowing people and falling in love with them.

Should it be any news that it’s the one arena

in which you struggle the most?

And sometimes can’t handle yourself?


You know what you want?

You want someone like you.

You want someone who is as intelligent as you are.

One who earns as much as you do or more.

In short you want a smart person, you know one you

can take out for office cocktail, introduce to your friends and family.


That’s seems like business partners!

You know, one you can trophy around as CEO and COO.

What about one you can relate with?

Ooh…you can’t adjust your standards, I almost forgot.


And yet you still say you want a man who is

smarter than you are.


Sounds like a pretty exhausting relationship, doesn’t it?

You know something about smart people? Let me tell you.

They live in their heads. They’re somewhat tortured. They

know what they’re worth. They have enough

information and ammunition to be impossible to

argue with. They can be endlessly fascinating and

even more frustrating.

This is my story.

I am (like many) attracted to smart intelligent men.

You know, we can hold a conversation about anything.

They challenge me. Not a man who only reads a newspaper.


But don’t get it wrong.

It does mean that you need to accept men or women who are

not in the 98th percentile of intelligence, and

recognize that there are plenty of amazing, bright,

relationship-oriented men who may not be smarter

than you.

We are talking about comprises.

You comprises about a lot of things and

relationships should be inclusive.

Are you willing to carry him or her as a trophy or as a gift?

Trophies are for a season and show off while gifts are treasures.


About trophies.

Most of your time is usually spent talking about

fixing up the house, raising our daughter, planning

our next vacation, figuring out what we’re going to

have for dinner, balancing bank accounts and buying assets.


About gifts.

Most of your time will be enjoying each others company.

Laughing and crying together.

Learning about each other.

Growing old together and solving issues as they arise

without thinking of divorce papers or checking his email

messages or clothes for lipstick stains.


In conclusion. You have a choice.

If you believe in self-help, if you’ve read books

about spirituality, if you’ve gone to shrinks and

taken weekend seminars, and yet you still think your

husband or wife has to be on the exact same wavelength

as you?

Sorry. But you can adjust.

He/she doesn’t.

They just have to respect you. And you have to respect





Saw this and thought i could share…CHECK LIST FOR THE SINGLES

If you are single, there are fundamental guidelines you need to work with, otherwise you will be caught in an endless and futile search. Here goes:

Don’t just marry someone because they made a good impression on stage. Marriage is not about a performance, it’s a lifetime commitment. Courtship should help unpack his/her character, and if you are in a serious relationship, avoid pre-marital sex. This weakens the foundation of trust in the relationship and makes break up painful; creating soul ties and wounds that are hard to heal.

If you are a man, the principle thing to look out in a woman is inner beauty (character, two fold-inner beauty and outer beauty).

The woman should be open to love and receive love, focused and complete as an individual. Completeness has to do with satisfaction with who they are physical looks, giftings and a healthy concept of self.

Many single men, in most cases are attracted by looks. Whereas we cannot rule out the physical, a woman`s beauty is character. The externals can change due to child bearing or the ageing process. So beyond the physical, take time to learn her interests, hobbies, outlook on life, faith and so forth.

For the single woman, be the best you can be, celebrate your womanhood. If you value yourself and respect your being, you will not remain in relationships that invalidate your worth. Such relationships are abusive – verbal and physical, conflict perpetuated or for sexual exploitation.

If you are a woman, go for a man who is his own man as opposed to a ‘mama’s’ boy. Men are to provide male leadership in the relationship, possess a vision for life. A disorderly man should work out his maladaptive behaviour and not wait for his future wife to organise him.

If he has no source of income, how will he take care of you? Let him first get a job or something constructive out there. Unless of course you want him to move in to your apartment after you are married, and you take care of the bills. Even where a man has lost a job, he should not be holding a remote control the whole day. He should be out there, fighting out for opportunities.

Some women desire a certain physique from the man, maybe he should be muscular, may be six feet tall.  Whereas muscles can be built in the gym, beware character is what makes a person. If he cheats on you and you are not married, don’t expect him to change when married. People become more of who they are in courtship as they move to marriage. Remember these sayings `True love waits` and ‘all that glitters is not gold.’