Throughout human history, children have been the consequence of natural sexual relations between men and women. Both sexes knew they were equally responsible for their children, and society had somehow to facilitate their upbringing. Even the advent of birth control did not fundamentally change this dynamic, for all forms of contraception are fallible.
But these seems to take a bend. Women have been but to the core while men are busy swimming on the shores. The storm strikes even harder when the law, which should enhance equality does not. Today women are often charged with child neglect than their counterparts. More responsibility is placed on the woman. Recently I had a case of a woman who was charged for child neglect because she took her son to his father. And actually its the father who reported the mother and testified as the complainant. What was the wrong? The child was 5 years old and does not breastfeed. What was the need to charge her.
President Obama proclaimed that we “need fathers to recognize that responsibility doesn’t end at conception.” In a sense, of course, he is absolutely right. But theproblem is that, in another sense, he is completely wrong: Male responsibility really does end at conception. Men these days can choose only sex, not fatherhood; mothers alone determine whether children shall be allowed to exist.
Birth itself may be followed by blame rather than support. Since only the mother has the right to decide whether to let the child be born, the father may easily conclude that she bears sole responsibility for caring for the child. The baby is her fault.
It may also seem unfair to him that she could escape motherhood (by being legally allowed to prevent birth), while he is denied any way to escape fatherhood (by still being legally required to pay child support). If consenting to sex does not
entail consenting to act as a mother, why should it entail consenting to act as a father? Paternity support in this context appears unjust, and he may resist compliance with his legal duties.The mother is even worse off if, during pregnancy, tests show that the child will have a disability: Doctors often press for abortion, in order to be sure that she does not later blame and sue them for the costs of raising her child. If she does not abort, after all, she will be causally responsible for the costs and the alleged burdens that the child brings. Even her friends and neighbors may make her feel ashamed for not choosing to abort her child.
A father’s role towards the growth of a child is far more important than the child just calling him daddy. It is considered to be an important factor in a child’s
overall social competence, social initiative, social maturity and the capacity to relate to others.Fathers provide both physical and psychological support and this can even be seen in the animal kingdom. Consider a penguin family. The emperor
penguin, who is the father, takes responsibility for keeping the eggs warm throughout the freezing winter months when the female, whose nutritional level may be depleted after laying eggs, goes to the deep sea for up to two months.
At school when a child has been suspended fathers rarely show up but instead instruct mothers to go and bail out the child. On the contrary during price giving days, graduation or any other celebration, the man will now show up. A proud father and will make sure every other person in the crowd knows that he is the father.
On facebook I saw a photo of conversation duration between a mother and her children and that between the father and his children. The conversation between the mother was much longer than that of the father. I know you agree with me. Why is this the case then? Children tend to be morw free with their mother than with their fathers.
If we could stand up to our responsibilities and roles the world would be a better place. It’s never too late to teach our children that responsibility does not end at conception. Responsibility is unending as long as that child still lives.