DADDY:Before the street lights are on

images_41While packing my bag to leave the office for the day, I heard him say to a colleague, “do I have to go home now, there is traffic and I might get to spend two hours on the road”. He replied, “then let’s get two for the road and by the time we leave, the road will be clear”. I looked at my watch and it was 4:30pm. That was too early, there might be no traffic but even though it might have started building up, by the lapse of two hours he will home before the street lights are on.
Before the street lights are on;
He would have passed by a florist shop and bought her a rose,
images_45He would have helped her in the kitchen,
He would have help them with their homework,
He would have had a conversation with her,images_43
He would have asked her how her day was,
He would have noticed that she looks stressed,
He would have noticed that she has lost weight,
He would have known what was stressing her,
He would have time to correct his children when they start shouting at her and misbehaving,
He would have time to prepare and plan for the family’s expense,
He would have time to plan for a family vacation,
He would have time to tell her how beautiful she was especially during her worst moments,
He would have time to prepare a candle lite dinner with her or taken her out for a romantic dinner,
He would have time for a round table dinner with her and the kids,
images_40He would have ‘daddy in the kitchen’ moments for them,
He would have time to plan a surprise for her,
He would have time to notice the garage door needs to be fixed,
He would have time to notice that the garden needs trimming,
He would have time to play with his children as mama prepares dinner,
He would have time to notice that one of the children has a skin condition and the other had a protein allergy,
He would notice that the youngest has now learnt to speak and her first word was ‘daddy’ because he is always around,
He would notice that the youngest of six months old recognizes his face and presence,
images_44He would have noticed that one of the kids had dyslexia and requires special care and attention because he was helping him with his homework,
He would have noticed that all he ever needed after a hard day’s work was his family,images_42
He would have realized that family is more important.

Merry Christmas! It’s family time!

MARRIAGE CAN’T GIVE YOU HAPPINESS, PURPOSE. Marriage is not an escape goat.

images_32Someone once posted that if you have gone to more than 50 weddings of your classmates you should start questioning yourself. As funny as the statement may look, it is true. However, caution is key. There is usually a lot of peer and family pressure especially when you are done with school and working. With all the mixed messages our world offers us

about love and relationships, sometimes it’s hard to imagine marriage accurately from the perspective of a single young adult. Even with all the chaos modeled in modern-day marriages all around us and the national divorce rate consistently hovering at 50 percent (with only50 percent of those who remain married reporting that they are happy in theirmarriage), and spouses killing each other somehow the idea of marriage still gets idolized beyond reasonable expectations.

Let’s be honest and most of the married people will tell you, lower your expectations. He has married you and you are going nowhere. Forget the, he must leave a note beside your pillow with a love message when you woke up, forget the endless dates and the opening of the car door for you, forget that he must kiss you good night everydaay, forget that when you are angry you won’t cook for him, foerget that when he says he wants rice and not ugali that you will throw your hand to the air and walk away and most importantly forget that he is not your boyfriend but your husband and should be treated as such. Forget all that!

Don’t get me wrong. You have to keep the romance alive or you may just be housemate who try to coexist. Keeping and nourishing the love you share will save a great deal. Let the dating period continue. Love is not one sided. And when lobe fails respect dies.

Everyone believes their marriage will be different, looking to Hollywood dreams and

fairy tale romances as their example. Most singles long to be married and have an insatiable desire inside their hearts to meet the significant other they can finally call “the one.” Today the topic of love is such a universal obsession. Over the print, video and audio media the topic is the same : finding love, solving relationship problems, online dating you name them.

God created love and has placed the desire to be loved unconditionally within each of our hearts. Marriage is a natural overflow of that desire.Yet within this sacred and natural pursuit of marriage, it’s easy to fall into the lie that finding a spouse will be the ultimate road to happiness and great satisfaction. That all problems, fears and deficits will fade away in the presence of true love. While this may be true of God’s love, let me remind you it isn’t true in the world of marriage.

There is no doubt marriage is a great blessing and that those who find a good spouse have truly found a great gift. Yes it is a blessing but again I said lower your expectations. Its a bed or roses but remember roses too have thorns and the are very beautiful. The truth is your will be angry not once, twice…but occasionally. You will want to hive up but remember you made a covenant with God first then your spouse when you said I do. And more importantly divorce is not an option. God hates it so should you.

I’m not sure why young singles ever believe that it would. For some reason, the idea of

being loved unconditionally by another human being sounds like it would do the trick in

helping us feel better about ourselves. We fall into the belief that being married and seeing ourselves loved through the eyes of another will really teach us how to love ourselves. Wrong. Being loved and being in love is awesome. You have a choice either to love someone or not and every choice has a consequence. Marriage doesn’t erase your insecurities. Marriage does not solve your problems and marriage is not the way out. Marriage is for companionship. That is it!

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That way of thinking has done more harm than good to many a marriage in our world. No one has the power to deal with our inadequacies and insecurities but us. Putting those types of expectations on a spouse will only cause harm, because there is a 100 percent chance they can’t change how we view ourselves. No matter how much encouragement, affection, affirmation and validation you receive from

your spouse, true security comes when you choose to see yourself through the eyes of God, not through the eyes of your significant other (or anyone else, for that matter). Relying on your spouse to fill those insatiable needs is a recipe for disaster—because no one human being has the capacity to offer you what is needed for true value and self worth. That can only come from within. True security comes from the intimacy of your relationship with God, and whatever praises and encouragement you receive outside of that are simply overflow.

Marriage can’t give you purpose.

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DON’T LET IT GET TO YOUR HEAD, IT’S NOT YOUR HOUSE

images_17I read a story of a man let’s call him John who spent a night under the bridge after an unsympathetic landlord evicted him from an apartment he has been living in.

John had not paid rent for months and the landlord threatened to auction his belongings. Mercifully, relatives chipped in saving him from the auctioneer’s hammer. Looking back, he now thinks the situation would have been avoided had he chosen to live within his means.images_15

To match his monthly income, he had a change of lifestyle. Rented an expensive apartment, drove a good car and could shop anything he pleases. He was employed in a factory, got all the respect he wanted from his peers and relatives. I mean life is good! He could sleep well, eat good food and wore good cloths.

John is a reflection of many young and some old people today. All we do as young people especially is investing in the toilet and peer pressure. By investing in the toilet I mean, eating expensive foods. Eating is not bad but going to Villa Rosa and the family is outrageous especially if your salary is below six figures or you are living in a rental house. After Villa Rosa, you will invest in that toilet that doesn’t even belong to you.

I am not being a miser but this is what is happening. You take a loan to buy an expensive car which am sure is not a basic need. After paying off the seller, you have to see an insurance company, then the petrol station and often the city askaris for parking fees and lastly a mechanic for servicing. From the above, you haven’t paid house rent, forgotten, that is not your house! There are electricity, water and now Tv subscription to pay. In all this you haven’t eaten nor dressed up. At the end of it all what is there to save? You still have to service your loan. And I almost forgot, you need to go for vacations outside the country!

In that job you are an EMPLOYEE. If you are in the government at least after six months or so, you will be permanent and pensionable. For the employee in someone else’s business, making money for them, you can lose your job at any time. But you might think of suing your boss for summary dismissal but where will you get the money to hire that advocate and worse still who will employ you thereafter (one who will sue you)?

After the job is gone, nightmares knock. The landlord is in business and at the end of the day your relationship with him/her is money. Since there is no money for you to give, the red devil will show up and cover his/her beautiful simile (the smile appears when she/he receives your money). Where are your friends you’ve been trying to live up to their standard? That car, where will you park it? The city askaris will not let you park without a fee. So where are you gonna park? That leather set of chairs, a 22 inch Tv, a mega Samsung fridge, that ksh. 150,000 king size bed, that bar and the rest, where are you gonna put them? The expensive (tasteless) food is invested in the toilet which belongs to the landlord and you won’t claim your position of the investment.

Before you get another job, what’s your fate? Under the bridge or your parent’s house? Where?

Don’t get it twisted, am not saying you shouldn’t live a comfortable life. All I’m saying is live within your means and aim at having a house of your own. I know with that first job you cannot buy a house or build one, but how about cutting your liabilities and instead save. You don’t have to save ksh. 10,000 and above. The little you can itaziba ufa someday. Be wise.

Don’t hugely invest on the landlord’s bank account and toilet. CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES. DON’T LET IT GET TO YOUR HEAD.

GOD BLESS!

IF WOMEN WOULD REMEMBER THE PAIN THEY WOULDN’T HAVE SECOND BORNS

IF WOMEN WOULD REMEMBER THE PAIN THEY WOULDN’T HAVE SECOND BORNS

On Sunday the world celebrated mother’s day. I could help but notice everyone on my time line either updated their mother’s photo or wrote something in appreciation to their mothers. I must say they were really touching. I hope of all hopes that we should not be reminded by a calendar date that our mothers should be celebrated and appreciated. But it should be an inbuilt affection that comes out naturally and every minute.  So, today as I was going about my official duties I eves dropped a conversation between a lady of about mid 30s and a gentleman (he sure was) of about mid-40s. images

These words, “if women would remember the pain they would not have second born-s”, that got me thinking. Based on this part of the conversation, you would clearly know the topic of discussion was child birth and labour pains. I have never had a child before but I know people who’ve had. I might not also know the experience or how painful the labour pains are. But based on what I know, it must be a very painful experience. Some say its unexplainable pain that may last close to 8-12hrs.

I talked to one of my collegue (she has a kid) as soon as I entered the office. She told me out like I thought you knew such things. But my face was like a frozen computer screen waiting for her answer and trying to give her the look of I know but I still wanna be told. According to her it’s the worst pain you could ever experience. I felt some groose pumps coming out and thinking I wouldn’t want to experience that. Towards the end of the conversation she told me with an assuring voice, “the moment the child gets out, you forget the pain totally.” It however didn’t make sense but those are the words of someone who has been there. I also inquired around and the answer was the same, you’ll forget the pain immediately.

Anyway, I didn’t intent to talk about child bearing and labour pains. This was just a bridge way to the key point. Come to think about it, if the pain is extreme as ladies will attest to, then why do people have more than one kid? Logically once bitten twice shy or no one would step on a blade twice knowingly. But women do it.  They go through the same painful experience not twice but more and more again. What driving force do they then have? Ask one, and you’ll get the best answer.

After a long time of wrestling with my brain I thought why can’t we put the same driving force to the things we encounter daily that we would sometime think I wouldn’t walk that road again?  And often say phrases like catch me dead. You try out something that drained your  bank account, you lost a job that you had dedicated your  whole life time in, you tried out a partnership that did nothing but created a whole chain of bitterness and hatred with the people you trusted, your marriage failed and it was his or her fault and vowed not to get married again, you have repeated an exam for that six times and paid for the same six times and every other situation that made you experience a unbearable pain that you wouldn’t want to go through again. Your story is always about the rain and floods, destruction, downfall and the family.

It was or is very painful but that should not hinder you from getting a second born. That should not be the reason you wouldn’t want to try again. Imagine (especially if you are not a first born) if your mom remembered the labour pain she experienced, then you wouldn’t be here today. What did she do? She forgot the pain and got another child. The experience of a woman in labour is no different from that situation you are facing.

You gotta pick yourself shake the dust off and get going. God hasn’t promised that there won’t be fire on your path walk to success but He promises to preserve you in the fire. Get up now!

LAKE KENYA…

I don’t want to be a nuisance that is not my business. I would love to see all Kenyans treated equally men, women, children, Nilotes, Bantus, and Cushites. But we have lost the way; the aftermath of colonialism which we thought will bring us close has made us parallel to our love for one another. Our ancestor’s wish was for us as a country to grow economically and socially after December 12th 1963. Just after the colonialism our ecomony was at per with most of the European countries. For instant Ksh 20 was equivalent to one pound. But now we are exchanging at more than Ksh 130. This is because our leaders developed greed which set us apart and labeled us Lake Kenya. Yes, Lake Kenya.
I know there is no such lake in the books of geography or any that existed in the books of history or ever been mentioned by our ancestors. This by the way is not my invention, although I wish it was, at least I would get a change to be in the books of history. Just like me, everyone wishes to leave a mark and probably be written down as one of the person who discovered something, or lead a movement that we can now see its fruits or on the negative head one of the rebellious movements or grabbed a whole county land or caused a major havoc in the country. We all want to be known. You know and I know that everyone would like to leave a mark and would like to be remembered differently. And now that is the problem. This is the source of Lake Kenya.
However, the very reason behind this has lead to the stagnation of our country and the suffering of the poor. It has lead to the upcoming of vocabularies like the ‘big fish and small fish, if you rattle a snake you must be prepared to be bitten by it, or you should know people’..etc, I know you are familiar with these, and the list is endless. Greed has taken shape over human soul. I sometimes wish the old times before colonization set in could last forever. The spirit of brotherhood and each having an equal standing in the society was the normal. The earth’s produce was enough for all and there were surplus. Forty two baskets of surplus enough for each nation or tribe, if you may. Then we had river Kenya. We were flowing and moving. There was no monopoly or unselfish competition, no laws that infringed the rights of the poor. Young and old had a bold and underlined respect for each other. We were flowing from the mountains to the valleys and mountains and valleys and we still stacked together. One nation, one people.
But as soon as our men and women rolled up their sleeves, shed blood and scarified for us to attain independence we become stagnant. Our minds are restructured and we have become robots of the west. They only needed to spend time and think hard to invent a remote control that they would control from the comfort of their swerving seats. And like slaved we had to follow in the name of seeking aid. What aid? This/that was/is not aid – I scratch your back, you scratch my back – was a choice made by our leaders. I now agree with Dr. Ndambisa Moyo the author of ‘Dead Aid’. The aid we ‘receive’ is literally dead. It cannot grow or bear fruits. It is a log to blind our vision and expose us to more disgrace and shame.
A few years back during the reign of our second president, we ceased running or flowing if you may. We become more of a controlled state than an independent state. This virus has not only affected us as a country but as a continent. We have blocked our mind and have allowed other people to use theirs on our behalf. Yes we have universities and schools that offer the best training. We have what it takes as a nation but we have dragged ourselves in. The ‘muzungu’ notion has made us view ourselves as inferior beings. Last I checked we use everything they invented. The cars, airplanes, ships, machines, language…you name them. Everything!
Everything that we have is as a result of the muzungu except may be for our native language. It is been fifty years but what do we have to show? Our university graduates haven’t made even the slightest machine and if they have it did not last to work effectively. We have huge tenders like the standard gauge railway but who gets to ‘win’ the tender, the Chinese (a close relative of the muzungu). One thing we should know is that when they see us, they see poverty; they see needy creatures, which are at their beck and call. And from where we stand we took at them and see help, we see superior beings, we see money. They know this and have taken it to their advantage.
They are selfish human beings who live to the words, “give and it will come back to you good measure shaken together running over.” This is not in the biblical point of view and but a selfish standing. But I also don’t blame they are just smart beings making good use of their oblongata. Even God asked Moses ‘what do you have?’ we should use what we have. They have brains and are making good use of it. I am not saying we don’t, but we are not using it! We have a mindset that the grass is greener on the other side. What about we water the one we are standing on.
Finally, in times of crisis, government is not the solution but it’s the problem. People make choices and create an arsenal of democracy that leads nations to freedom. In a battle field, one has to make a choice either to win or loss. And somethings happen by choice not by chance. We have to choice either to leave on the grey circle or on the black or white circle. The government that gives you everything is a government good enough can to take everything from you. Likewise if we depend on the west solemnly they can take everything from us at their own pleasure. Therefore we can either choose to stay in the dark or light a candle!

Reflections on the Hare and Tortoise story

2G's Musings


The hare lets now the tortoise go,
Like a grave bishop pacing slow.
And now behold the tortoise gone,
Toiling, hastening slowly on.
The hare the bet but little priced,
And such a victory despised;
He thought, in his great pride of heart,
‘Twas yet too soon for him to start.
So, browsing, resting at his ease,
Oblivious of his bet, he sees
The tortoise the wished goal about to gain,
He sprang like lightning, but he sprang in vain.

– Jean de La Fontaine

Hare 1

THE STORY:

“What a dull heavy creature,” said the Hare, “is this Tortoise!”

“And yet,” said the Tortoise, “I’ll run with you for a wager.”

‘Twas done and done, and the Fox, by consent, was to be the judge.

They started together, and the Tortoise kept jogging on till he came to the end of the course.

The Hare laid himself down about midway, and took a nap…

View original post 434 more words

EMBRACE POSITIVISM!

KENYANS…

Am sure no one wants to be told what they already know. Over a few months ago, we as a nation have received our share of flaws. It goes without saying that times have been tough. We have seen security lapse, jobs disappear, lives lost, schools deteriorate, more grieving than any one nation has to face/bear. The least we expect is someone to come and tell us what we already know. Or some international or national media write a story we all know and sugar coat their bulleting to attract more business and criticism for their own selfish interest.

It never pays to be a deliverer of bad news, news that brings divide, or  news that adds salt to injury. Someone told me that no news is good news. So every time there is news  it’s never positive and even when it is, there is always some bad news peeping or waiting to explode. It’s never our fault ,people are engineered differently. But this does not mean they cannot change.  They can and change is a permanent transformation.

But I know something that everyone should know. Tomorrow will be better than today. This is your home that’s why you stayed even when times were/are hard. The true value of communities is not in the beauty sceneries you see when you drive. It’s in the goodness of its people. We have to redefine the norm. Every day there are people who wake up before dawn to earn a living, young people  who are working very hard, students stay up late to earn their grades, neighbors rolling their sleeves and earning from their sweat. They what to change their community/country and despite what people think, or what has changed or what people say they have to do it. People build things from scratch and build an arsenal of democracy each and every day which lead us to independence. This country’s future will look exactly like what you and me what it to look at. I know that’s a lot to ask given what we have already faced, I know we have lost hope in our leaders and in the future of this country. However we have to embrace responsibility. We have to rebuild that trust among ourselves. We can re-write a new chapter. You can be Kenya’s future. I know you didn’t do anything to take our economy to the state it’s been in, you didn’t make  any decisions  that has brought us to this point. You have every right to say it’s not my fault, what can I do, I have enough to worry on!No one will blame you for choosing to look out for yourselves. But I hope of all hope that that’s not what you are feeling.

Our generation is waiting for you, the future is looking at you. You have the potential to change everything. You have to know that there is no secrete to a free and democratic nation. You just have to take one step, and believing you can. Rome was not built in one day, people made decisions  and sacrifices and their fruits yield way after some of them passed on. But that’s nothing not to worry about, you got to leave this word better that you found it. That’s what God wants from us. We have to over look above the political arena. Politics and tribalism will never unite a nation but peace, love and unity will make a nation’s economy grow. Embrace positivity!